I should get a call some time tomorrow either telling me the results were negative (which is what we want) or that I need to make an appointment to go in and talk to my doctor, which would mean it's positive (which we don't want). I managed to not think too much about it over the weekend or today since I was focused on missing Isis. What thinking I did do, I managed to become resigned to to the fact that this probably is cancer. I know I'm supposed to think positive, but last year I was absolutely convinced I didn't have cancer, and I did. So, it's hard to think positive. But it's ok. I got through it last time, and this time we're catching it super early so maybe it won't be so hard.
In general, I feel better today. A little less sad, a little less overwhelmed. The support I get from you all really makes a difference for me, so thank you. Let's all keep our fingers crossed, and I'll post tomorrow as soon as I know anything.
Update:
There are no cancer cells. It's a mucusoidal lesion (i think that's what he said), which is basically pre-cancerous. I need to have it removed, which is an outpatient procedure. WOOT!
Jennifer - I am SO happy to hear the good news you received today. You may remember me from some prior postings. My wife was diagnosed a month after you - similar age, circumstances, stage, etc. Like you, she was fortunate to have a complete response from the chemo. Post double-mastectomy and radiation, she is doing well. Like you (and so many others) the new challenge is the stress accompanying any new ache, pain, bump, or abnormal test. It's something we hear never goes away, but will get easier as time passes. For us, at times like this, we try to lock on to some things we find helpful:
ReplyDelete- Michael J. Fox has a quote about trying not to assume the worst case scenario. Because when you do, you basically put yourself through a version of that scenario. Then, when the scenario does not happen, you've basically wasted that time. And, if in the minimal chance it does happen, you've put yourself through it twice, again wasting that time.
- Statistics are a double edged sword. For my wife and I, we chose to ignore anything about statistics and prognosis. For, in the end, the only statistic that matters is your own personal experience. There is nothing 100% guaranteed with cancer. However, statistics can occasionally help. Like the one regarding a complete chemo response. Recurrence in this group is in the single digits - roughly equivalent to the general population's chance of getting breast cancer the first time.
- Our key motto through all of this: "If it helps, do it. If it doesn't, don't."
We definitely get, though, how easy it is to say the above and much harder to actually live it. But, it's all we can do, right? Try. Seize every day. Cherish every moment.
Again, I am SO relieved to hear it is "nothing" (quotes intentional.) Thanks for continuing to share your progress and journey. Continued luck and best wishes... J&S - Minnesota
Thank you, and I'm glad your wife is doing well!
ReplyDelete